The last time I blog, my life was haywire. I don't know what's real and what's not. So, I was diagnosed with Major Depression by the psychiatrist that I went to. He was nice, he was awesome. I think it's because he was paid to do so. I did not have that much money though but I managed to see him for a few sessions. I was on Insomnia & Depression pills. I do not know if I should ever tell my family about it. So far, only Meera knows that I went to see the doc.

I am thinking of opening a new blog. for me to update more regularly. Yes or no?

Hey Hey Hey.

It's December. How time flies. Last year, I was back in Kuching just for the holidays. Now I am back in Kuching for good. *still i hope not* I really hope some or any place would just call me for a job interview or something. I really am getting bored of doing nothing from day to day.

Oh!! the wedding would be in a week plus time. Wow! that was fast, I wonder how the bride and groom feels? Hee Hee Hee.

I have lost a couple of kilos. woot woo! and I should be going to the gym everyday this week but I am just so lazy yesterday. Anyways, Dya starts working tomorrow, that's what I heard but I am not so sure because I have not seen her for quite awhile now. Lol.

I am sick. I hate flu. I hate sore throat. I still got insomnia. aieshhh.

Hey you~ I hope you're doing alright with all the exam preparation and I am trying not to bother you as much.

But right now, I really wish that you would be here. I don't have anyone to accompany me for breakfast, lunch or dinner. Going out in groups are fun especially going out with different groups for different occasion. But sometimes I do need to just go out with another opposite sex person, doesn't mean that it have to be something. Why can't friends go out and enjoy the company of each other like we used to?

Tonight, I asked my old friend to accompany me and his girlfriend was some what furious. I am a bit confused, not that my friend didn't explain how our friendship is. What ticks me off is after I read her msg to him because he asked me to read the msg that she sent to him. When I asked him to bring her along, she got even more furious. The other thing is, we're used to hang out all the time. To be honest, I don't understand that women.

Don't you know I miss you? You made everything so simple. I'm sorry if I sound so dependent, clingy, too attached or anything but the people here are so hard. You made it easy for me to act like myself and be free at the same time.

I know some people are busy but sometimes people give so many reasons. It feels like they are avoiding. How I wish you'd be here, so that you can accompany me for late dinner.

It seems like I need you only for me to go out or something like that but it's not. You're the place I go to when things get messy and you know I would do exactly whatever you've done for me too

i have friends. i have bestfriends. i have close friends. don't get me wrong. i love each and everyone of them to bits.

but...

why is it all i could ever be is someone's close friend or best friend or sister?

Hey, don't you know I am tired. I just need one thing to make me believe again but people just keep on breaking me down.

please stop wasting my time.

It is September. Wow. I don't really know what to say or do. A lot had happened this year and without me realizing it. It is already September.

Today is my birthday and yet, i am still so lazy to do anything. I don't even know what to post as this is so confusing. Life is confusing or maybe just me. lol. i will write more soon, when i find the time to lay my thoughts properly.

Counting down the days.......

Here's a list of thing I need to do.

finish my black book.

open the bank account.

clean up my room.

clean up my boxes.

eat at dusit thai

go to wave rock

eat chilliz

go watch movie with my movie partner.

go to karinyup

go to claremont

go to carousel

go to garbo